I know I've been out of touch lately, but my little family has been going through a really difficult time...sadly, on Thursday evening, my father-in-law lost his battle with cancer. He was the very best father-in-law a girl could ask for...always warm, loving, and generous. He was the kind of person who always had a smile on his face and a joke in his repertoire. I will miss him for the rest of my life...
My heart is broken watching my husband sobbing for the first time in the 13 years I have known him. He had a wonderful friendship with his father, and I credit dad for making my husband the incredible father that he is today. The loss of this amazing man is not just a personal one for my husband and I, but one we feel for our 3 children as well...they have lost a grandpa they were very close with.
My sweet Halena, as our oldest child, knew him the longest, and there for has been hit the hardest by this loss. She has been crying for days, and I can't quite find the words to comfort her. My 4 yr old son didn't quite get it when my husband told him that his grandpa had passed away...I had to tell him that he wouldn't be able to see his grandpa anymore, at least not for a very long time...and then he got it. Poor little thing. And, I guess the thing that makes me the saddest, the thing that hurts the most, is that my 2 year old baby girl will have no memories of the grandpa that loved her so. I just wish there could have been more time for all of them to be with their grandpa. I told Halena and Braden that they will have to work hard at keeping their memories of grandpa, so that they can pass them on to little Caighton...so that she too can know him in some way.
I'm glad that his tremendous suffering is over. There is peace in knowing that he is in a place where there is no more pain and no more sadness. There is an emptiness in my heart, but I do know that this is not goodbye, just goodbye for now. Some day we will see him again...in the glory of God's kingdom...and there will be only happiness...
Thank you for letting me unburden my heart just a little. It does feel better to let some of it out. I do love you all, my old and my new friends...
Tracey
25 comments:
My heart breaks for your family. I will be praying for you all. I heard something once that makes me smile everytime I hear it, "While we are mourning the loss of a loved one, heaven is celebrating their arrival!"
My husband lost his dad 16 months ago to cancer and it was the most painful experience. I know first hand the tremendous sadness and heartache you are going through. I will be lifting you and your family up in prayer.
Having traveled this same road once before as well, my heart aches for your famiy...praying for your peace and comfort~
So Sorry for your Loss. We have been there, I just Adored my Father in Law. I wish you Peace and Comfort during this tough time. Jamie
oh tracey, i am so very, very sorry. there just aren't words to even begin to bring comfort.
he sounds like an amazing man.
God's peace,
Sheryl
I am so sorry for your family's loss. We've been there too. I'll be praying for you and your family during this time - there is comfort in knowing he's at peace, but it's still so hard.
Oh Tracey ~ my heart is breaking for you and your family right now. The pain of losing a parent is hard. Just be there for your husband as he will be for you, cry when you need to, hold on to each other and then tell happy stories for the kids. My niece was 2 when my Dad passed suddenly and today she is 10 and knows how special she was to him. It's the memories that keep them alive in our hearts forever.
Tracey,
I am so sorry for your loss. My precious daddy lost his battle with cancer ten years ago last week. I don't know if it will be any comfort to you but....my first memories are from when I was two...I traveled back to the midwest with my mama to visit my grandparents. I remember my grandpa sitting in his armchair..he turned around and handed me a doll. I still have her jacket. I also remember him bouncing me on his knee. Maybe little Caighton will have some of her own memories of her grandpa...she is definitely blessed to be surrounded by loved ones who are full of precious memories of your father-in-law.
May God bless and comfort your family.
Julie M.
Tracey, I too am sorry for your loss, I am certain he was (is) a wonderful man, I use the present tense when I speak of my family members who have passed away, because their passing did not change their sweet spirit and loving nature...they are always with me, in my heart, and he will be in yours as well... Julie Marie
I am sadden by your loss...sending you much needed love and may your hearts be warmed by his memory. I will keep you all in my prayers! xoxoxo
Dear, dear Tracey, the loss of a parent is always difficult, but the loss of a parent to cancer is heartbreaking and my heart aches for all of you. What a comfort it must be to know how very much he loved you all.
Hugs,
June
So sorry for you and your family, Tracey.
Tracey~
The last time I saw you we had talked about your FIL. I could see the twinkle in your eyes when you spoke of him. I know he will be missed. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
xo
oh i am just so sorry.
when i first pulled up your page & saw the title i feared this must have happened.
i know there are usually no words....just know you are in my thoughts & prayers while your family mourns.
xo
Tracey, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your whole family during this very difficult time. {{HUGS]]
I'm so sorry to hear this. It really is so sad to think of precious little ones who have lost their grandpa. Hope you find refuge in the only One who can truly heal a broken heart.
xoxo
Sweet Tracey - you are my newest blog friend - and I want to RUN to Il to give you a hug with a warm cup of tea. I'd love to sit and chat about your FIL - if you wanted - or we could NOT, whichever you felt like.
I'm sorry for your loss. BIG hugs.
xoxo - Tracy.
Oh Tracey, I am so sorry for your loss, so sorry. I can't not imagine what your family is going through and remember we are all here for you...big hugs to you my dear...big hugs! XO
Dear Tracy...I am truly sorry for your family's loss. My heart breaks for all of you because I know your sadness too well; my mom lost her battle to cancer this past March. Just take it one day at a time, cry when you feel like it, and hold each other when you need to. And cherish & share those memories of your father-in-law. Hugs to you & yours...
Tracy,
Popped over here from Leah's blog, to hopefully offer some caring words in your time of grief. I am so sorry for your loss and know from my husband loss of his dad and my loss of my other mother earlier this year due to cancer, it is a very emotional time. May God surround you with his strength and love. Cry when you need to, laugh when you can and surround yourself with family and friends.
You are in my prayers.
I am so sorry. It broke my heart when you wrote of your husband sobbing for the first time in your marriage. My husband lost his father last year and I still cry remembering my husband's tears. I will be praying for your whole family. When did we get old enough to lose our parents???
i'm so sorry, tracey.
mary
I just went on that journey myself. My beautiful cousin at the age of 36 just lost her battle with cancer last night. I hate cancer! I'am truly sorry for your loss! You will be in my thoughts and prayers! Traci
My heart goes out to you, your husband and your whole family, May you find peace of heart knowing that even though you miss him so much it feels like your heart is breaking and you can't breathe, he isn't suffering anymore and he knows that he is so loved by all of you. We lost my dad this March of lung cancer, we thought he had pneumonia and turns out he had 4th stage lung cancer, they said he had 6 month or less, we had 3 weeks, but during the first 2 weeks, we were able to come together as a family and we all told him how much he meant to use and how lucky we were to have him in our lives, that last week...was something I try not to even think of, but I am so thankful he was my dad and always will be in my heart :) be well, be happy..be loved. Rose
My heart goes out to each of your family members on your August loss of your beloved Father, Fil and Grandpa. This post touched me to the core, and I can relate to your sadness for your littlest child, Caighton, not having much time with her Grandpa. You see, I lost my Mom to cancer when my only child, Emily, was just 8 1/2 months old. Oh, how I long to have my Mom be able to spend just one day with her now, but God had a different plan and one day I pray and hope they will meet again in a better place.
May peace be with each of you as you grieve in your own ways.
Gretchen
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