Forty

Hi!  Today I am sharing some pictures from our recent trip to Lake Geneva, where we enjoyed the beach, the water park, and the petting zoo and stables!

What I want to talk about, though, is more of what is on my mind right now...which stems from the fact that tomorrow I am turning the big 4 - 0!

My little Caighton, my baby, is a big 5 years old today!!!  Ever since she was born, it's been nice that her birthday has always kind of overshadowed mine :)  Allowing me to just breeze past my own birthday...

But, unfortunately, I can't seem to ignore the impending 40.  I think I will actually be relieved when the day has come and gone, so that it can just be over and done with :))

Why are the "decade" birthdays such a big deal?!!  I didn't think all that much of turning 38 or 39, so why should 40 be such a big deal??!

I must admit though, that I have spent quite a bit of time lately just reflecting on life...and the relationships that I have...and even those that I have lost..

Relationships seem to be the theme that my mind keeps coming back to lately.

It's funny, when I turned 30, I measured my "success" in life, thus far, very differently than I measure it now...

Back then, I felt like I could put a big mental check mark up for the fact that we owned a home, and had two nice cars, and that we were financially moving in the right direction...material things were the barometer for which I measured success.

Today, as I look back over the years of my life, it is the relationships that I have that give me pause and make me say, "my life is full and I am blessed," not the material things.

While I have lost all four of my grandparents, 

as well as, my beloved father-in-law...one of the greatest men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and loving...

I have also gained three precious children.  

A relationship with one's children is, at times, a very difficult one, as there must always be a balance

~ discipline and guidance with love and friendship ~

But simply put, my children are my greatest success.  Period.  And they are also my greatest source of joy...

And then there is the love of my life, my husband, who truly is the center of my world.  It is the relationship that we have...the one that we work so hard to nurture...that makes everything else in my life work.

He brings me such happiness and I can honestly call him my best friend.

The last decade has meant many changes for me in who and why I call someone friend.

It used to be that if I could share a cocktail and easily chat with someone, I would quickly label that person my friend...fun and ease of conversation were the measure...

...today I measure things very differently.  With maturity, comes a deeper understanding of who I am, what is important to me, and why I choose to allow someone close to my heart...

I would rather have five, dear close friends, than 50 casual friends.

I give a lot to those that I love, I also expect a lot...and I have made many mistakes over the years when it comes to friendships...

But I would like to think, as I am on the cusp of 40, that I have learned a lot as well.

At times, you must simply listen to God and ask him to guide you...to heal your heart...and to thank Him for knowing what is best for you...

this kind of acceptance is a valuable lesson I have learned over the last few years.  And is has shaped the kind of friend I am today.

I am so abundantly blessed with the good, honest, loving relationships I have in my life right now, that I feel like I should be rejoicing for turning 40 instead of dreading it...after all, I now have 40 years of lessons and love to guide me, right?!

I know this isn't my usual kind of post.  More like the ramblings and thoughts that have been bouncing around in my mind over the last few weeks.  I guess turning 40 has also brought out my sentimental side :))  

I will say this, when it comes to relationships, what I have learned is this...

~ it is just as important to give love as it is to receive love.

bitterness, jealousy, and hatred will weaken and deplete you, 

and forgiveness will, ultimately, always strengthen you...

A very heartfelt thank you to all of you for always stopping by and supporting me and encouraging me!  You too are a cherished part of my life!!

Blessings ~

Tracey